Stoicism is for idiots

Thumbthing *was* up. In fact, I’m going into hospital tomorrow for an operation to correct the thumbthing that was significantly fucked-up. I have “significantly damaged…the UCL in my right thumb”. And now I’m in a cast, having begged, borrowed and stolen favours to organise childcare for tomorrow for while I’m unconscious getting messed with by professionals with sharp knives. Poo.

I was at my accountants signing some papers this morning, which is near the Minor Injuries Clinic at the Royal Hallamshire. My thumb has been sore, swollen, all in all a bit weak and feeble since I bust it 2 weeks ago. So I thought I’d pop in, see what they said. I was kind of expecting them to say “Erm, yeah, that’s what a sore thumb looks like. Put some ice on it, take some tabs and it’ll be ‘reet” (subtext, “You know there are people here with *actual* injuries…”)

Not so much.

They sent me for an x-ray. Then prodded it a bit, pushed it this way and that. Hummed and hawed. They talked on the phone to a hand surgeon at the Northern General, and came back with the slightly alarming news that he’d see me today.  So, off I went to the Northern General, still sure that someone would look at it, give me a bandage (ooh, and maybe some drugs!) or something and send me off.

Not so much again.

The consultant was summoned, after the SHO (a lovely man called Mr Ray) had pumped my thumb full of local anaesthetic (which made me think him less lovely). The consultant (Mr Lamb) then bent my thumb impossibly far to the side to demonstrate (far more times than I felt was *strictly* necessary as the local wasn’t THAT effective) that, yes, it was torn, or ripped or generally completely fucked.

So, I’m not to eat anything past 6:30 am, drink anything after 10:30 and they will slice me up and reattach the ligament at some point tomorrow afternoon.

Will be in a cast for 4 weeks. No Krav for a month, no climbing for at least 6. GGWP needs a new regime – probably one that involves running, as that requires less thumb/arm involvement than the less hideous stuff. And some creative people to help me draw on my cast so it looks like a GGWP bronze warrior shield.

Not sure if I went past stoicism straight into idiocy when I didn’t get it checked out sooner. I blame rugby playing men in my family for demonstrating a “tis but a fleshwound” sensibility when they broke bits and pieces. And my tendency to confuse “I don’t want this to have happened” with “This hasn’t happened”. And the fact that I’m an idiot. Rarrr

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